In Venere Veritas
by The X Kalamity
Summary: The moment we kissed was the moment we lost ourselves.


Trailing a finger up and down her back, I realized she had already fallen asleep. It was almost midnight and I couldn't sleep. The night breeze came through the window and sent chills down our spines, I knew it because I felt her shiver in her sleep. Why couldn't my mind rest? What kept me awake? Was it the thought of this night being their last? It was so much more than that. It was the fact that she was lying in my bed, naked and glorious. It was the fact that she loved me the way I am. It was the fact that they were here, right now. The right time at the right place.

I remember the day I met her. During our trainee days, the first day a big brown eyed girl smiled at me. I could tell she was different from the other girls: short brown hair, clumsy movements, lenses, loud laugh, a strange hyperactivity, and a thirst for exploration. We immediately connected, as well as the other two, Nile and Mike did. I never saw her as something more than a friend, one that I grew to trust deeply as the years went by. How could I forget the nights we stayed up late just reading about the world? She was the one who got to understand me and my strange hunger for something more than just killing titans. Intelligence was clearly what differenced her from the other girls; a sharp calculating analysis and thought. Without being the most popular on our squad, she managed to graduate between the first places, showing big fighting and tactical skills.

Was love really forbidden? What if someday she disappeared? What if death came earlier? Could I keep forbidding myself to feel? Who cares if I'm not sure when I will die? One afternoon she came into my room as she always did when she had a new project. I barely remembered her words, I just remember I stole a kiss from her lips. Her eyes widened in surprise and her breath shortened.

"Why did you… do that?" She barely spoke. I didn't know the answer. Something got into me. Something I couldn't hold anymore. Something I had to reveal. And I know she felt it too.

"Because I'm afraid one of us might die, I can't hold it anymore"

That was the end of us. Hiding our relationship from others was what we did best. Late night talks turned into something more.

The way kisses were just the beginning. The way her personality changed when we made love, she turned into a shy blushing lady, innocent and just based on what she had read in books. Unexperienced in practice, but such a fast learner. The way her eyes stared at me, begging for more. Those caramel orbs. The way her fingers dug into me, the way her bronzed skin brushed mine. Memorizing each other was enough. Was this really wrong?

Though it was much more than just sex, I admit there was nothing like making her mine every night, like owning her. Feel her whisper my name between sweet gasps and moans, feel the way her breasts were big enough to fit in my hands. Nothing like marking every inch of that pure body with my lips, like grabbing her hips to match mine. Nothing like the sweet scent her whole body had, our bodies tangled, sweat running in the valley of her breasts. Nothing like her chocolate locks between my fingers. Her arms pinned above her head, her nails trailing my back, her lips parted in a moan, her slender legs around my waist. The way she rode me, the way she learned to control me. The million love words we whispered during pleasure.

There was nothing inside and outside the walls like reaching our limit together, the way she trembled when the time came, the way all of her fitted perfectly between my body and the sheets. Pleasuring her was gradually turning me into a man again. Making love to her just like our first time. There was nothing like all those nights. Why was I remembering this now? Many years have passed since we first met and she hadn't changed a thing, except for her hair's length. She had become stronger; she had become as cold as I was, but that was something one learns in the Survey Corps. Cold but not heartless. Even though we both knew love was not an option for a soldier, we fell into this mad dream.

But here I am, wide awake, warm body against me, slow breath under my neck. Like one of those nights. I kissed her neck, breathing her minty scent in. I smiled a little. She shifted slowly opening her eyes lazily.

"Mmm…What's wrong? You're still awake." She said as she caressed my chest, soothingly.

"I couldn't sleep." I answered bringing her closer to me, if that was even possible.

"We made it like, three times in a row and you couldn't sleep? I guess that explains why you are the Commander…" She chuckled amused. I loved she always came out with these crazy ideas even when she was tired, her brain was always awake.

"You just proved it. I was just…remembering". I felt her lips on mine, a soft gentle kiss. I kissed her back possessively while I held her between my arms leaving a gentle trail of saliva between our mouths.

"Well, you remember too much. You should rest, tomorrow is a hard day." It was. I was leaving outside the walls. The first time I was going alone with two other soldiers. The first time I was leaving without her at my left. God knows if I was going to see her again. I probably knew I would, the mission was just around the walls, but still there was a small chance of not seeing her again. She was right, I must sleep. My eyes started to feel the pressure of today's tasks as her slender fingers caressed my hair. The last thing I remember was a silky kiss, luscious lips relaxing me.

"There you go, big boy. I'll be here when you wake up. I'll be waiting for you, my love."


End file.
